Bruce Backward was an outlaw
His ways were bold and blunt
And everything that outlaws did
Bold Bruce did back-to-front.
He bailed up a coach and pair
One morning bright and sunny
Roared, "Everybody make a move!"
Then gave them all his money.
He burst into the local bank
With robbery in mind
Then, chuckling, he stole the safe
And left the gold behind.
His first attempt at kidnapping
Was backward as could be
The ransom note said "Pay up
Or I'll set the children free."
Alas, the law caught up with Bruce
They tried him in the street
And, since it was his last request,
They hanged him by the feet.
By Doug MacLeod